Inverary, originally a model town constructed by a typically ambitious Campbell Duke of Argyll always seems inexplicably busy. I cannot quite fathom the attraction. It could be the spectacular view, or the absurdly castle-y castle. The explanation I favour is that the journey time for a coach-load of pensioners from Glasgow to Inverary exactly matches the upper limit of their bladder control. Inverary is also the convenient and unavoidable A-road junction from the A819 to the A83 on the optimistically signed, ‘Argyll Coastal Route’. As if there was an alternative.
Still, either the Duke or the council allow free parking Nov-March on the shore or you can stop in the CoOp carpark. A puffer masquerading as the Vital Spark is warped to the pier, that fictious boat with her hilarious crew made reality in rusting iron. Years ago there was another old boat with an-onboard café moored to the pier. It sloped seaward with the ebb, but now your best bet for coffee at breakfast time is Brambles.
Brambles is actually a B&B with an open, spacious café on the main street: two shops knocked into one. They also own the Campbell Coffee takeaway and roastery opposite, which with typical Campbell thoroughness has seasonal opening to winnow money from the unaccountable volume of tourists circling Main Street. Inside, Brambles has an old wooden floor, ubiquitous café-green panelled walls and bare stone behind the counter. There are lots of bits and pieces of furniture and café kit lying about that give a satisfying home-made feel to the large space. The tables are pleasingly unmatched, the chairs are pleasingly unmatched to the tables and sometimes to each other. Best of all, my cup and saucer are pleasingly unmatched. A visit to the gents reveals a sloping floor subsiding gently to the landward side.
It’s breakfast time and I get asked if I was a guest last night. In the B&B, not at an unplanned party that looks like it may well have happened. I can remember I wasn’t. The staff have the bleary-eyed, tousled look of Scots who feel the greyness and winter will never end and are now paying for the compensatory late hours and what-the-hell drinks. I feel very at home. Service seems a bit like you are staying at a mates’ house who has also just woken up but it works fine. The café playlist is Rodriguez, then maybe Lee Hazlewood, then Ash, which adds to the home-like, slightly hung-over feel. Or it could just be me.
I’m afraid to report that the eggs on toast and coffee are acceptable but no more. They come quick enough but have the anonymous reasonableness of a hotel breakfast. Black coffee and 2 eggs on toast are not given away at £10.50. Cakes are huge but also not cheap. This all counts against Brambles, as a higher strata of fare is ten minutes away at the Loch Fyne Oyster Bar garden centre café. Perhaps the stream of pensioners homing in on Inverary like spawning salmon drives up the prices. This morning its only locals and Van-jockeying gentlemen such as myself in for a coffee while they hope for some hint of sunlight at 09.30.
In season when I’ve been passing Brambles is always busy, but I prefer the morning-after version. Easy-going, take-us-as-we-are. Recover from last night. Remind me again why we are in Inverary again?
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