God forbid you should have to park your engine of economic generation for any length of time in Govanhill. Nae spaces here pal. But, like many decisions in contemporary society, the reluctant but sensible choice seems to be Lidl. With their 90 minutes free car park.
Around the corner in Victoria Street coffee beckons at Patricia’s X SLB (I don’t know but my guess is Patricia’s with love from Short Long Black. Other choices are available including Super Lady Boys, Sexy Lima Beans and Scotland Loves Buns). Put yours in the comments section.
Inside Pat X SLB is an underpopulated utilitarian space with a minimalist, nay Maoist aesthetic. Hard surfaces dominate the corner-frontage with its big glass windows, very basic counters and an open kitchen/bakery at the back. A strange fish farm raw salmon colour dominates on various columns and has spread to the workstation and the Jackson-Pollock style low central shared table. Coupled with the tiny low stools, portable heater and radio on in the background I initially felt I was in the refectory of a small isolated monastery. Then I realised the miniature stools, wipeable surfaces and paint splattered messy table was more akin to being in the classroom of a primary school on Benbecula when it’s time for art class.
Coffee came efficiently and was a good but unexceptional Thomson roast for a reasonable £3. I didn’t have food but they clearly make it in-house. The staff were functional if not fascinated by my presence. They were having a good time chatting with those regular customers not frowning into their Mac’s. The corner-frontage windows are ideal for watching the never-dull street life of Govanhill passing by. But Patricia’s X SLB is a space that does not invite lingering. Either for comfort or for more coffee. It felt more like a Hopper-esque space to be alone with one’s thoughts. Must be those big windows spilling out light onto the winter street.
Some sort of mini Existential Crisis was flitting across my psyche. I felt curiously adrift in Patricia’s X SLB: neither welcomed or repelled. Conditions were harsh inside but reasonable. Sustenance was provided. I could see out through an impenetrable barrier and watch the tidal world of Govanhill ebb and flow.
A bit like being a salmon in one of Mowi’s fish-farm gulags.
Perchance, like that salmon, this establishment is not for me. Unlike that salmon, I made it back to Lidl. Alive.
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