I do appreciate artistic vision in a caffeine refectory. Not that I immediately comprehended it, but that was down to the earliness of the hour and the thoroughness of the previous evening’s abandon.
Empire State Coffee Artisan Roasters is located on Whitehall Crescent, tucked under the Malmaison hotel: that refurbished marvel of C19 hotel design which sports a central 5-floor ironwork open oval staircase with internal vertical steel supports running up to a golden cupola overlooking the Tay. One could, and I stress could, park the old chariot in the Malmaison loading bays, fire up the hazards and nip into ESCAR for free. Or pay £3 across the road. Sometimes a PMiaV must, even though,
‘Paying for parking to sup the dark gold
Is against our van driver code-of-the-road.’
I certainly do not countenance mottos in general you understand, almost never if printed on café walls, and absolutely never in private homes. I digress.
Being dense, and not yet in a New York State of Mind, (Alicia Keyes version not Billy Joel. Please. Pleeeze.) I didn’t quite twig the ESCAR design conceit at first (the building was scaffolded at the time of writing which confused me) and thought I had just stumbled into a rather good coffee house. The ESCAR interior welcomed me with sympathetically lit small functional tables set against a reasonable long maroon vinyl banquette. A well-staged display of impressive sandwich varietals caught the old eye and resurrected the previously horrid idea of breakfast.
As local workers and shoppers came and went the very amenable staff swiftly supplied me with a cinnamon bun and black coffee for a reasonable £7.90. Said bun proved fantastic and was warmed without asking. Even better, the ESCAR house coffee blend is both unusual and superb: Indian leading from the front with Brazil and Guatemala in a close tie for second. So I had another cup, bought 500g of the beans – £14, a good price in late 2025 and sat to read the whole Courier unmolested. ESCAR has another outstanding café quality: one can be served fast or is happy to linger, nursing one’s crapulence.
I still hadn’t fully understood the NYC thing despite the name and décor hints upstairs. I went downstairs looking for the loo and the cunning design at last registered with my enfeebled intellect: the entire basement is decked out as an ersatz Subway station. Noo Yawk subway, not Glesga. The 135 St Subway is complete with the correct signage to Downtown or Brooklyn, industrial wall tiles, subway style booths, carriage windows and luggage racks with suitcases. The whole job is Awesome, as one’s Stateside chums do insist on constantly saying, but it really is. So I sat down there and had the breakfast, also excellent.
ESCAR is a fantastic café. Fine food is efficiently served and the coffee is outstanding. ESCAR is not expensive and has a magnificent design conceit. This cafe is one of the absolute best I found in 2025 and I suggest when in Dundee you get yourself to Midtown to drink their coffee.
I did notice a motto on the wall as I ascended to 5th Avenue (and less spectacularly, Dundee) but sometimes one has to let one’s prejudices go, especially as said motto quoted Clark Gable. Not the famous quote, but a more apt one for us.
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