Returning to the earliest of one’s ancestral stomping grounds can be a salutary experience. Especially walking a familial hound around the cemetery. One just seems to recognise so many surnames on the headstones.
Sorry about all that. On with the light (commercial van-based) comedy.
An extended safari south of the border, far south, has a strange cumulative effect. The small differences between our bit in the North and the distant South begin to show as they build repetitiously. Essentially there are more people, many of whom seem to have a lot of expensive possessions and disposable income. Others don’t. This is problematic, as the number of vital consumables one simply must have increases proportionally as one’s van draws towards the gravitational pull of the M25.
I was able to escape this fate and halt in West Oxfordshire, where during an extended stay I needed to repeatedly seek out the one, truly essential imbibable consumable. So if you do find yourself and your phaeton in the West Oxon/Cotswoldy playground you will discover an area packed with cafés in surprising places.
You could do worse than the following establishments. Which I have arbitrarily decided were competing in a sort of Coffee-Lympics. Unbeknownst to them and completely at my whim. All are good.
Aston Pottery. Bronze medal.
This is a pottery/garden/café behemoth, quite unexpected in a small village. The café is in a huge, high-ceilinged brick and oak extension. All is very pleasant and very efficiently run with a relaxed canteen/National Trust vibe. Two coffees and a fine scone were had for £9.90. The coffee was served in their own rather striking small-mug-and-large-saucer spotted combination. A huge quiche and salads for £15.50 went down well. The coffee was a reasonable but unexceptional dark roast and the quiche could perhaps go more Spanish on the garlic but this place is a pensioner magnet and they clearly know their market. All in all a rather charming place with a fine ethos and good value for money.
Linwood & Co. Various outlets. Silver medal. Joint winner.
This is localised chain of 9 cafés and I managed to get to 3 due to my dedication to duty. The Witney one is in a shopping centre, replacing the expired Starbucks and spiting the adjacent Costa Coffee outlet. Top-hole. The Moreton-in-Marsh one is on the High Street. My favourite is tucked out of the way in Bampton but worth a detour as the village has a swaggering Norman church. The Linwoods favour subtle stylish blond wood slats against a gunmetal wall interior. Bampton had zinc topped tables that I rather took a shine to. Took a shine to! One chortles. Linwoods bake their own excellent breads (a sourdough beast will set you back a fiver), have their own various blends of beans from £9.50/250g’s and a friendly, welcoming atmosphere with pleasant staff just getting on with it. Coffee at £3.60 was a pretty pleasing brew in an excellent red cup but lacked that unique something of the finest brews. Cakes at around £3 and sandwiches and their ilk at up to £8 were not being given away but what I had was very good. All 3 branches were busy with locals and regulars. These are quality, independent establishments and I would be happy to try the other 6.
Blake’s Kitchen, Clanfield. Silver Medal. Joint winner.
Blake’s is another professional, quality establishment popping up in unexpectedly in a small village. Blake’s is a large family-owned café and bakery which still is charmingly hosts the local Post Office. A throwback to the past when Post Offices were not pound shops run by desperate staff operating on tiny margins. Blake’s is bustling with families, drivers such as oneself and the obligatory extraordinarily active pensioners of West Oxon. The range of breads and baking, especially the lardy cake, my main source of calories as a child, are superb. The sit-in menu features a rather innovative selection of brunches including a masala and a patatas bravas option. These are not cheap – £12-£15 but are absolutely huge, rich, heaving with flavour and great value. The Blake’s interior is warm, woody and open. I was particularly enamoured of the Clanfield mural. Outside there is fine outdoor seating and free parking. The staff preside over a hive of efficiency. Whilst the café is rather noisy and could do with having its acoustics softened I must say that this is a minor quibble as most of the background noise is the hum of happiness as the buns go down. My only complaint, and what kept Blake’s a whisker away from the top spot is the coffee, which is good but unremarkable and either not quite strong enough or slightly over-extracted.
The Lotus Retreat, Faringdon. Gold medal, and Peace Prize.
Poor Faringdon is yet another market town that has had its core shopping area hollowed out by those unlikely Four Horsemen of the local shop Apocalypse; online shopping, out-of-town megastores, takeaways and barbers. My hopes were not high as I made for the Lotus Retreat. A holistic sanctuary and café, no less.
It turned out to be a wonderful, friendly, idiosyncratic place. Calm of course, but also welcoming and efficient with the most naturally engaging and nicest staff of my visit. The Lotus Retreat is filled with assorted displays of various wellness kits, spiritual objects and chic hippy bits. Treatment options for both one’s body and soul abound but I advise you to look no further than the coffee, £3.80, which is narrowly but the best and most distinctive brew I had over these 4 establishments. There was a choice of other bean blends with one at an eye-watering £12.95 for 200g’s but this is probably due to supply chain fairness. The Lotus Tree interior décor is basically green and terracotta, then layered with assorted and unusual furnishings. A person can happily while away an hour or more in here as it’s exactly like being in an eccentric aunt’s living room. Believe me, I know.
The Lotus Retreat is just that, a relaxing, excellent café for reflection. Namaste.
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