The choices in Glasgow Central are now mediocre after the Union St fire took out the excellent Gordon St Roastery; Costa/Greggs/Pret.
Sancho, a wily operative, boarded with a Pret oatmilk flat white. £4. I however am a masochist with a pedantic blog so planned to get coffee on the train for the purposes of your pleasure, phone-huddling masses, and my schadenfreude when said coffee proved enjoyably substandard and overpriced. I would have told you so.
Here I was utterly outmanoeuvred by Avanti West Coast as an announcement, apparently by a female, northern and rather offhand Eeyore informed us that there were ‘No hot drinks’ as the drinks machine ‘wasn’t working’ and so there was ‘no coffee’ and said device was in fact ‘leaking boiling hot water everywhere’ making it ‘very unsafe to use’ so there were ‘no hot drinks’ on this non-stop train to London. Eeyore was simultaneously ‘very sorry’ and clearly relishing being able to deliver this joyful message at every stop for the next four and a half hours.
‘How will you write your blog?’ smiled Sancho, sipping her brew.
Like so.
Apparently the UK government are about to renationalise the West Coast franchise, binning Avanti. They should start with that coffee machine. For a change.
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